


Frozen

by Shtrigga



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: AU Season 1, Angst, Drama, F/M, Funeral, Sobbing, sort of Dawnders but not really, too late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5103788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shtrigga/pseuds/Shtrigga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How everything could've turned out differently in 1x09 if some things had been too late to fix.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Frozen

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a very crazy idea I got recently

He was standing in a small room, fists curling and uncurling as he could barely breathe. He was looking at her, so beautiful, so fragile, like a porcelain doll. There was a little bouquet of flowers in her hands.

Long blond hair stretched out over the pillow.

She had a nice dress – silver, the same as color of her skin.

Anders swallowed, recalling how she would rant against those horrible, tasteless frocks her friends (brides-to-be) made her wear. He even saw one once – Dawn was trying it on in the bathroom and walked out right on him as Anders being late as usual marched cheerfully into the office.

Now she doesn’t have to worry about it, she’ll never become more than just a bridesmaid. At least her last outfit will be beautiful beyond words. 

Silver dress. But not for the wedding. For the funeral.

Anders felt anger growing inside as he stood next to the coffin. How could he let this happen to her? To _Dawn_ , of all people? Why didn’t he bragi her into forgetting, or even better, hating Ty? He didn’t even care if it’d brought family’s contempt on him. Like, that is no news, he got used to it. But in this scenario Dawn would be fucking alive!

Why... why did it have to happen? He knew why. Because the clock radio didn’t go off, because Ty overslept. It was too fucking late to do anything. Her blood had turned into a bloody popsicle by the time he woke up. Her face had gone blue.

He got the phone call that day, Mike’s on the line, saying to him in a quiet, faltering voice to come to the morgue. Anders thought it was some stupid joke. 

_"It’s not funny, you know, bro..."_  
_"And I am as serious as ever."_

When he finally got to see her, his heart sank. Dawn was lying still on the slab, her skin ashen in the dim light of the lamp.

Even now, under all this funeral makeup he could swear he still saw a slight tint of lavender on her cheeks. Dead lavender under fake roses. Frozen forever.

Anders could barely hold himself together, shaking and heavily breathing, a huge lump in his throat. The ears were ringing – the only thing that helped _not_ hear that fucker’s sobbing behind his back.

_Oh, poor baby Ty, do you think it’s your fault? It fucking is!_

Someone patted him on the shoulder, gripping and trying to pull away. 

“Anders, maybe we should leave Ty alone for a moment?” Mike suggested in a low voice. “Let him mourn her by himself?”

“Well, I don’t wanna go, Mike,” he ground out, muffled. 

“Can you be sensitive just for once, huh?”

“Sensitive? Screw you, Mike! I’ve known Dawn much longer than he has, I appreciated and loved her as a sister, and I didn’t fucking _murder_ her!”

Ty felt silent, his posture still and tensed. Small pearly tears continued rolling bitterly down his cheeks. 

“I know it was my fault, Anders,” he croaked.

“If only sappy confessions could bring people back from the dead…”

“Why are you saying this? What, you think I don’t feel bad enough about myself already? You think there’s something I wouldn’t have done to change it?”

“There _was_ something,” the blond said with a frightening grimace for a face. “You could’ve stopped and backed off when I told you so! Are you that stupid not to know that it always ends bad? It always does for you! How many more girls do you need to understand that Mr.Freezy here doesn’t exactly belong with mortals? Oh, I suppose Dawn was the last one, eh?”

“I loved her!” Ty roared, blinded by tears.

“And you killed her! You killed the nicest, warmest person in the world! Well done, brother,” Anders was gasping, his voice hoarse. “I tried so… hard…to keep her out of this god shit… but no, you needed to show up and ruin everything with your bare hands. Literally!”

“If you wanted to protect Dawn, you shouldn’t have compelled her to stay every goddamn time she intended to quit,” Mike interrupted.

“Oh, how great, so it is my fault, isn’t it? As everything else in the whole fucking universe?”

“I didn’t say it.”

“But you meant it, didn’t you, Mike? 

“Well…”

“And what are you even doing here? I mean – Ty – I get it, but you barely even knew her!”

“Why do people attend funerals, Anders? To show some respect for the deceased.”

“I’d prefer you not to,” the blond said, and he looked at his other brother. “And you –”

“I’m sorry,” Ty whispered.

“I don’t even know how to start to forgive you. I mean… Ty, _why_ it had to be her? Not some chick I didn’t wanna know, but _Dawn_!..” his voice was feeble. 

He was trying desperately to fight back tears that were threatening to pour out. He straightened his black tie in order to still his own trembling fingers.

“I’m sorry…” Ty repeated.

“I’m not the person you should apologize to…”

And with that he turned away, casting one last glance at her body, sudden pain in the chest. He felt empty, a black hole the size of the planet Earth inside was sucking all the strength away. 

The thing Anders regretted the most at this moment was that he had been such a dick to her. Not even for once had he acted like a normal guy, a boss, a friend. Did Dawn even know how _much_ she meant to him?

Well, she meant the world. And now this world has been destroyed by hands of one of his brothers. As usual they managed to screw his life, but this time by taking unintentionally someone else’s. The life of someone he deeply, deeper than he would admit, cared about. It was bad enough when his smart-ass of a brother replaced his dead fish with fucking fish fingers. But Dawn wasn’t a fish. She was a woman, she was his assistant, she was the only person in the whole world he would actually like to be related to.

Anders left the building, walking past some of Dawn’s old friends and acquaintances, keeping in mind the last image of her. Cold and distant… and pretty… and in the coffin. Like Sleeping Beauty.

Panic struck his heart, as well as deep powerful sorrow. His ghost-like face was floating down the parking lot, and as soon as the car door was closed, he couldn’t contain himself any longer. He hadn't shed a single tear for the past two days, just had been drinking a lot, eyes fixed on the wall. But now...

His whole body was shuddering. He was crying. Because of unfairness, of resentment, of just _wrongness_ of this. 

Tomorrow Anders will have to return to j:pr… to what? To her empty chair and the desk with tons of colorful binders, and notebooks, and this ridiculous, girly pot flower? What would it be like – to look at her stuff and know the owner isn’t coming back?

Anders realized with mournful groan it would be impossible to find a new assistant. Not because Dawn is… _was_ so indispensable, but because it was _his_ Dawn who would put up with his crap, give him judging looks, appeal to his conscience, tell him off as if he was a little boy. She knew exactly who he was (except for Bragi thing) and yet preferred to deal with it, unlike his brothers, by being supportive and understanding, and moderately harsh on him. 

And now she’s gone. 

Today a piece of his heart will be buried with Dawn.


End file.
